this is a blog

stupid

2009-10-25T17:38:00.000+08:00

the life i lead now is so lifeless and stupid

I

2009-10-04T12:46:00.006+08:00

I'm just not the same anymore.

Some things are just so hard to let go.

No matter how much positivity you try to help me inject into it, I end up feeling all lonely, negative and insecure about it.

Green has made me stupid.

brothers in arms

2009-08-03T04:40:00.002+08:00



These mist covered mountains
Are a home now for me
But my home is the lowlands
And always will be
Some day you'll return to
Your valleys and your farms
And you'll no longer burn
To be brothers in arms

Through these fields of destruction
Baptisms of fire
I've witnessed your suffering
As the battle raged higher
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

There's so many different worlds
So many differents suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Now the sun's gone to hell
The moon's riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die
But it's written in the starlight
And every line in your palm
We were fools to make war
On our brothers in arms

Indifference

2009-08-02T23:16:00.001+08:00

is something i never wanted to feel

the dark knight

2009-07-22T14:25:00.000+08:00

it's been 1 year since our first date.. lol...

i really got nothing else to say than to say this.. because i really don't know what to say.

sigh

2009-07-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

it's exactly one week since we broke up. right down to the exact minute.

but life goes on.

i still believe though.

why

2009-07-19T13:19:00.000+08:00

i don't understand.. what did i do to you to deserve this from you?

Love to be loved by you...

2009-07-19T02:56:00.002+08:00

Who am I?

2009-07-19T02:17:00.002+08:00

I don't even know who I'm looking at in the mirror anymore.

You knew how to love me the way I wanted you to.

Almost a week

2009-07-19T00:19:00.001+08:00

It's been almost a week since you've been gone.

This feeling of having not seen your face for a week is eating me from inside.

But I have to carry on, with the hope that you will someday come back to me keeping me going all this while.

across the universe

2009-07-18T03:11:00.002+08:00

words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
they slither wildly as they slip away across the universe

pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my open mind
possessing and caressing me

jai guru deva om
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world

images of broken light which dances before me like a million eyes
they call me on and on across the universe

thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe

jai guru deva om
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world

sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing through my opened ears
inciting and inviting me

limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns
and calls me on and on across the universe

jai guru deva om
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
nothing's gonna change my world
jai guru deva om
jai guru deva om

this is killing me..

2009-07-16T18:38:00.000+08:00

feel like going out for a walk...

can't we try...

2009-07-16T00:26:00.002+08:00

16 july.. 2 months after you-know-what...

we didn't have any more after that..

i just feel so emotional thinking about it.. that very night...

I see your face cloud over like a little girls
And your eyes have lost their shine
You whisper something softly
I'm not meant to hear
Baby tell me what's on your mind
I don't' care what people say
About the two of us from different worlds
I love you so much that it hurts inside
Are you listening
Please listen to me girl

Can't we try just a little bit harder
Can't we give just a little bit more
Can't we try to understand
That it's love we're fighting for
Can't we try just a little more passion
Can't we try just a little less pride
I love you so much baby
That it tears me up inside

I hear you on the telephone
With god knows who
Spilling out your heart for free
Everyone needs someone they can talk to
Girls that someone should be me

So many times I've tried to tell you
You just turn away
My life is changing so fast now
Leaves me lonely and afraid
Don't be afraid, no

Can't we try just a little bit harder
Can't we give just a little bit more
Can't we try to understand
That it's love we're fighting for
Can't we try just a little more passion
Can't we try just a little less pride

I love you so much baby
That it tears me up inside
Don't let our love fade away
No matter what people say
I need you more and more each day

Can't we try just a little bit harder
Can't we give just a little bit more
Can't we try just a little bit harder
Can't we give just a little bit more
Can't we try just a little more passion
Can't we try just a little less pride
Love you so much baby
Tears me up inside

nobody

2009-07-15T10:07:00.005+08:00

nobody to share my laughter with
nobody to listen to my problems and tell me it's alright
nobody who would wait for me no matter how long i took in certain things
nobody to console me when things don't go my way

nobody who would trust and share with me her problems
nobody who would take the initiative to hold my hand when we're out
nobody who would love me without being asked to

nobody to fill this empty void inside me...

where are you? :(

i love you

2009-07-14T12:56:00.000+08:00

none of us deserves this outcome..

tiring

2009-06-13T04:04:00.002+08:00

every day stay up until so late to do administrative work for project greed.... sibei sian. some things just don't seem to end.

ndp

2009-06-11T01:21:00.001+08:00

mr PRESIDENT

the parade is formed up and ready for inspection, SIR!

Maldini the Magnificent

2009-05-25T18:31:00.003+08:00

http://www.imeem.com/bas/video/9RO0-OO-/maldini-the-magnificent-sports-video/

A video montage I made for my idol, Paolo Maldini. Captain of A.C. Milan.

Will have a short tribute story later on.

milan away!!!!

2009-05-14T02:16:00.001+08:00

now $90 only with name and numbering.. i want!!!!!

thank you!

2009-05-08T17:11:00.001+08:00

hehehehehe

highly defined

2009-05-07T18:18:00.001+08:00

a person who stays back in poly just to be the president of their CCA just isn't cut out to rival me.

oh well.

the same person is also less than 40kg and sucks major ass when it comes to inter-gender relations.

rival lor.

bringing back an old post...

2009-04-30T02:45:00.003+08:00

certain events in the recent weeks have inspired me to bring back one post from July 2008...

there are people out there in the world who say one thing and mean another

there are people out there who are so adamant and persistent of their beliefs, believing that one day they will succeed

but guess what, you don't win all the time

just like in a football

once your opponent puts the ball in your net, if you don't score, you lose, no matter how much you try not to let in another goal

in an entire season, if you don't win matches often, you won't finish on top of anyone, just right at the bottom and either just manage to scrape through or be relegated to a lower division

but certain things aren't like football

certain things won't continue to renew themselves like how everyone begins on level terms again every new football season

certain things you just can't win even if you continue to persist

because certain things aren't meant to be shared by everyone

some people just don't get it

the last few weeks

2009-04-27T01:35:00.003+08:00

this is the shit i've been doing the last few weeks... in NON-CHRONOLOGICAL order..

first i bought and sprayed some realistic-looking toy guns for filming.

then another gun (two of these actually)

i went to watch SAFFC's shaky debut in the ACL, losing against Suwon and Kashima at home.

and settled for some good ol' S.League action but a shock was in-store as Home lost to the Young Lions by a single goal

i still had fun though as i was invited to play on the same field as Singapore legends uncle Dollah Kassim and Quah Kim Song, as well as Woodlands' coach Nenad Bacina, and a few other faces in local football....

popped by raffles place for some work in the middle of one of those weeks on an assignment to a uniquely-organised Singapore Cup draw

before that i was hard at work with tA's 2009 photoshoot

but i still had time to spare with my dear gf...

turned out for kallangroar at dunearn on saturday before hitting my head in a collision with the goalkeeper, but after that it was still time spent with her at her area.

and IN BETWEEN ALL THAT...

49 tiring days of work put in for this screenplay, but it'll all be bloody worth it in the end.

hahaha

2009-04-13T13:55:00.010+08:00

i just wanna take one moment to laugh at "van" chua guan cheng.

he thinks by posting whatever i said to him as "evidence", i'm going to be scared of him and respect whatever he does.

well i say i'm better than someone who posts a dumb 'war' video with a short scene containing a maximum security institution and takes it down one day later. i'm way better than that. haha.

i'm way better than some shitheads who think they're better management than people i've worked with for more than 7 years. i remember somebody said to another person about 4 things of which only 1 was completed. haha. let me throw this back at you. dekabreak vs gatack. what happened? woohoo!

i'm also way better than scumbags who backstab others to try gain support and cause unrest within a group. what the fuck? if you think you're that good at politics, maybe you should go run for office.

a year or two ago, you said we would be gone soon, with such management. whoops!! we're still here! guess what? we're better off without someone like you. a face like yours doesn't deserve shit. anywhere.

you've got zero skills and zero talents and the worst thing about all of that is, you're not even willing to learn like the rest of us. you always think you're the top. why don't you bend over and suck your own wiener.

well maybe you could do that. i don't know. maybe you could because your so ultra-thin.

and P.S. if you're trying to make your groupies think we've got something against your group as a whole, stuff it mate. the problem lies with you alone.

update...

2009-04-07T00:39:00.004+08:00

ok i'm not the most consistent in updating but, here's all those who wished me a happy 20th birthday... IN ORDER.

1. Xiaoyun
2. Liwen
3. Hidayat
4. Hadi
5. Jason (Delap)
6. Yimian
7. Cannie
8. Amanda
9. Jiing Yih
10. Michel
11. Jace
12. Meng Yeow
13. Alvin Lee
14. Nelson
15. Dad
16. Joe
17. Auntie Zizah
18. Jim
19. BEE
20. Basri
21. Rob
22. Kevin
23. Paul Goodwin
24. Kai
25. Zaidi
26. Daniel Ang
27. Yong Jian
28. Uncle Devo
29. Limin
30. Irfan
31. Khyrul
32. Benny
33. Hajar
34. Siewping
35. Gary
36. Zieda
37. Yong Cheng
38. Janet
39. Weijie Chua
40. Marilyn
41. Sam Scutt
42. Santono

thank you all, especially my dearest girlfriend Liwen, for all the things she prepared for me!

a little bit more update about my life so far - i've been busy with the screenplay of somewhat of a crime drama which tA is going to film this year. hope i can complete it by this saturday's meeting.

back to work!